Disclaimer

The views, opinions, and observations expressed in this journal are my own and in no way reflect the views, opinions, or policy of the Peace Corps, Peace Corps Morocco, nor any other governmental or non-governmental organization.

Nor is anything written here necessarily drawn from my own views, opinions, and observations. Please consider all postings and pictures complete fabrications with absolutely no bearing on reality. For legal purposes, please additionally regard the author as utterly imaginary.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

three days in three short instruction manuals

Day One:

How to kill a cockroach

Corner it in your bathroom, be prepared in case it uses it's wings
Pick up your squeegee
hold the squeegee with one end towards the floor
smash the shit out of the bastard
use a bucket of water to sweep the remains down the turkish toilet
try to ignore the head/antennae flopping around

Day Two:

How to get free tomatoes
 
Tell the vegetable seller you're going to give free english lessons
Say that you're fasting (you aren't really, I mean, you may not be eating, but you're definitely drinking water all the time it's like a billion degrees outside)
He will start getting really worked up
He really wants you to become a muslim
He asks that you say the shahada
You tell him you'd rather not
He says you'll probably go to hell after you die
You tell him you hear this a lot, one kilo please
He says it'll be okay, just become a muslim, you have to after all, if you want to be Moroccan
You tell him you don't have any change
He gives you the tomatoes for free

Day Three:

How to sweat
1. Go outside
2. Stay inside
3. Wear clothes
4. Don't wear clothes
5. Sit around
6. Lie Around
7. Walk around
8. Do errands
9. Make food
10. Eat food
11. Use the bathroom
12. Use the bathroom again
13. Read

It is ten thirty pm and I am dripping on my keyboard







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2 comments:

  1. .August 2, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  2. DavidAugust 3, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    I'm not that impressed. Sounds like New Orleans. just sub 'saints fan' for 'muslim' on instruction manual 2.

    ReplyDelete

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Disclaimer

The views, opinions, and observations expressed in this journal are my own and in no way reflect the views, opinions, or policy of the Peace Corps, Peace Corps Morocco, governmental or non-governmental organizations.

Nor is anything written here necessarily my own views, opinions, or observations. Please consider all pictures and texts here to be complete fabrications with absolutely no bearing on reality, this one or any other. For legal purposes, please additionally consider the author to be utterly imaginary.